Hello, welcome to the holiday edition of Humbly Courageous. I am glad you stopped by! This time of year is a time of many different mixed emotions for many. Some enjoy the holidays, and for some it's a very difficult season for many different reasons. Whatever you celebrate, chances are you are feeling a tad overwhelmed. Maybe it's buying gifts, trying to please everyone, or anxiety towards holiday get togethers with family/friends that you haven't seen in awhile. Social anxiety is real! Perhaps, the holidays are the most joyful time of the year for you, and you just wish the season would last longer.
For me, I enjoy a lot of things about the holiday season. I absolutely adore the ambiance that the Christmas lights bring to my home. I really enjoy decorating for Christmas. However, this year it made me a little sad. I really noticed a difference in my ability to decorate on my own. Normally, my husband and I tag team the decorating. He likes to do the tree, and I do the other areas of the house. This year, I said to him, "can we just do it all together?" I wasn't feeling up to tackling my normal duties on my own. Another reminder that this progressive muscle disease sneakily steals things from me. The big picture is, that I am grateful for a husband who is willing and able to help me. The silver lining. Even our boys joined in on the tree decorating which was a nice surprise. Since hitting their teen years, they haven't really been into helping us decorate the tree like they did when they were little. So, that was also a lovely holiday memory, and one I would have missed out on if we were doing our separate things.
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| Don’t blink ❤️ |
I have always done a majority of the holiday gift buying throughout the years. I enjoy it. I like going to stores and picking things out for loved ones. There is something about being out and about during the holiday season. A different energy. This year, there has definitely been more online shopping, and I have also had to ask my husband if he would help get some of the gifts.
Everyday, life with a disability is so physically exhausting. Our bodies are working overtime at all times just to exist, plus battling the normal woes that aging brings. The holiday season feels like that ramps up times 100. There are holiday parties, family get togethers and like I mentioned above the gift buying. The past couple of years, we have kicked off the holiday season by attending The Festival of Trees event, which is a charity dinner and auction to raise money for those in our community that need some extra help. We attend with some of our family, and it is a really fun time! Getting dressed up is always fun in my opinion. This year was the first year going in my new wheelchair, and I decided I wasn't going to let that hold me back from hitting the dance floor! Gotta keep moving forward, right?! My husband and I made the most of it and learned how to "dance" together in a new way. My sister documented our "first dance" on camera. I had THE best time! Then, my cousin took me on a joy ride running me through the lobby of the hotel where the event took place. Again, beaming and overjoyed, arms outstretched and wind in my face. A memory forever marked on my mind (even if some of the guests thought we were a bit crazy, ha!). We didn't let it stop us.
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| This picture sums up my joy of the night! |
As my disease progresses, I have to progress too. Otherwise, life will just leave me behind. If I want to keep living well, I have to keep adapting and moving forward. Changing at a speed that I never asked for. I have to be ok with asking for help in new areas. For me, that's the hardest thing. I value my independence so much. I have felt what it's like to have it taken away throughout my life after surgeries, or setbacks. It's a feeling that I despise, and quite honestly it terrifies me. I don't want to be on someone else's time schedule, I want to do things on my own. That is what makes me feel alive. I will fight for that until every last bit of me can't. But, I know I have to be smart about it and ask for help as I need it. The holiday season is certainly a time when we could all use a little extra help. It takes humble courage to ask for and accept help, but when we do, we are reminded of why community and connection are so important. We were never meant to do life all on our own, even if we want to. Small steps can sometimes lead to great relief and unexpected joys.
As our family celebrates the Christmas season, for us, it's a reminder of what is really important. The reason for the season. Whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope that you can find a sliver of joy, even on the hardest of days. I do believe there is always something to be grateful for, even if it's just the tiniest of things. Seek it out. I believe you will find it. 💚
For more on my story follow me on Instagram @ashinneman and check out my new column in The Hamilton County Reporter called "Disability in the City"
https://readthereporter.com/DailyEdition/2023-12-14.pdf
Well said ❤️
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