Humbly Courageous

This past week I had mentioned on my social media post that I hadn't experienced as much progress as I had been having. I was feeling a little discouraged. The past several weeks I have had some really encouraging and motivating progress. For the first part of the week, I just kept thinking, why isn't something happening? I was feeling pretty unmotivated, and almost nearing that feeling of just giving in because things just seemed to be plateauing. Then, I happened to think back to where I had been before this began. I'm not sure I even shared this with anyone, but in my mind I was starting to think about what it would look like to use a wheelchair in my home. I have used one a few times after some surgeries, or major illnesses that left me especially weak. My scooter that I have is not easy to maneuver in my home. I was thinking I would have to purchase a new chair that would be easier to use around my home. That's where I was with my disease progression, it was happen...

 Connections. Most of us need connections to survive. Meaningful connections, where we feel like the other person in the relationship truly hears and understands us. Someone who makes us laugh, even when we feel like crying. We can have lots of different kinds of connections in our lives, and draw from and learn from all of them.. As I have talked about before, as a child I always longed for a connection relating to my disability. I wanted to meet a friend who shared the same struggles, someone to who I could say .....this is how ______ feels, do you ever feel that in your legs, or does your weakness ever scare you? They would look at me with caring eyes and they would say "yes" I totally understand how that feels. They would be able to say this because they felt it too. Every human should be able to have that kind of connection. It's one that makes us feel truly heard and seen. I was 44 years old when I first felt that type of connection.  Since being diagnosed, I have m...

Hello, thanks for joining me here! I recently was invited to do a podcast on Dr. Sherri Yoder's podcast channel called Thriving Thoughts with Dr. Sherri. We were introduced through a mutual friend who thought we would be a good match. He knew she was interviewing people for season 4 of her podcast called Thriving Alone. He was a friend from high school that I knew, not well, but after reconnecting with my husband and I on Instagram, we have gotten to know each other more these days. After speaking with Dr. Sherri briefly, we also thought we were a good match, and she and I agreed to record a video podcast for her new season called Thriving Alone.  We didn't talk too much before the podcast was recorded. She didn't want to know too much of my background before we did the interview in order to keep the conversation as authentic as possible. I thought that was a great idea, but also as a planner, I felt a little anxiety going into it not really knowing what she would ask. I kn...

When you are forced to be courageous in an everyday battle, humility is inevitable. This is the thought that came to mind when I was trying to think of what to name my blog. I wanted it to be a couple of words that I felt best summed me up, so that's how I came up with Humbly Courageous. The reason I call it humble courage is because it's not the kind of puff up your chest courage people talk about, but more of a quiet, humble, inner courage. The birth of my courage was unassuming. Courage for me started when I was very young. My first vivid memory of being forced to be courageous is from nursery school. I believe I was about 4 years old. The teacher had us play duck, duck goose. I'm sure many of you are familiar with that game. The first time I truly felt different was when a little boy who was the one going around the circle saying duck, duck, duck, duck, duck and then he tapped my head and said goose! So when that happens, the object is for that person to spring up and s...

Happy New Year everyone! I'm excited and hopeful for 2021. 2020 had its challenges that is for sure. For me, lots of good things happened too. I think I had somewhat of an advantage going into something so uncertain. Living undiagnosed for 44 years, you learn to live with uncertainty. It's definitely a roller coaster living with any kind of uncertainty. Some days you feel ok, some days you have a lot of anxiety because of things that can't be figured out, and you don't know when it will be. I am so grateful that is one thing I have been able to check off my list since finally having a diagnosis. Its really freed up a lot of headspace for me. I feel like instead of treading water I'm now swimming. I'm able to move forward and that is such a good feeling. Speaking of moving forward, I wanted to give an update on my stem cell treatment progress. I am about 3 1/2 weeks out now from my first treatment. While I certainly didn't wake up miraculously cured or anythi...