Hello! Welcome to another week at Humbly Courageous. I am glad you stopped by! I think most, if not all of us, have things we look back on as we analyze our younger years that we wish we could get a “do- over” for, right? That’s just part of living and growing in age and hopefully a little wisdom along the way. Sadly there aren’t any “do-overs” but as long as we are alive, there is room for growth and change if you desire.
Living with a disability, something that I really look back on and wish I could do differently is the amount of time that I spent “editing” myself to seemingly make me more appealing to others, or to fit in when I felt I didn’t because of my disability. If you have been around, you know I have touched on this before. I think it bears repeating. Especially so for my younger readers who are also making their way through life with a disability that makes them feel different from everyone around them a lot of the time.
I have had the opportunity to form some relationships with girls/women younger than me in the disabled community. Let me tell you, I have often been in awe of them and how much further they are on their self-acceptance journey than I was at their age. Maybe it is partly the times. I feel it is more acceptable and even desirable to stand out and be unique these days. I’m certainly no expert, but from my observation that is what I observe. I love it. I wish we could all feel free to be our complete and total selves instead of an edited version created for whoever we are with.
One of the ways I edited myself was by pretending that my disability didn’t cause the level of struggles that it did. Very often I downplayed the amount of stress it caused me. I got quite good at it I guess you could say. I think my really close friends knew more of my struggles, but probably not completely. To be honest, I’m still guilty of doing this, but I’ve definitely improved!
Another way that I edited myself was to laugh at all the “jokes” regarding my disability or assistive devices. I even made some jokes on my behalf a lot of the time. I did that because I wanted to help others around me feel more comfortable. Do you ever do that? Make yourself uncomfortable to help others feel more comfortable? It never feels good and definitely isn’t authentic. On the outside I would laugh, but inside felt like a completely different story. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t be so sensitive or take myself so seriously, but that’s just who I am. I love humor and I love to laugh, but humor surrounding my disability can be a slippery slope.
The truth is, most people who are meeting me for the first time, likely haven't spent a lot of time around someone who is disabled. So it is like a blank slate. Just being your true authentic self is a great way to show them what being disabled truly means for you and your life. Additionally, you can show them that you have many more sides to you than just that one aspect. Maybe you are the very first disabled person they've ever encountered. Why not show them the real you and help educate them on disabilities? If they like you for who you are as a whole, then it can be the start of a great authentic relationship and you can live unedited! That just makes everything better when we are able to live as we were designed and can bring our own unique qualities and perspectives to the relationship. That could be a very good start at helping to change some of the negative perceptions that we all know exist surrounding disabilities. That would certainly be a big step in the right direction. It takes humble courage to let your true colors shine. The world would be a better and probably much less stressed out place if we could live unedited. Speak your truth, even when you are afraid. With practice, it will become your norm and you will find that you feel a refreshing sense of freedom. 💚
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