Hello and welcome back! Boy mom. That’s me, and I absolutely love it. The connection between a boy and his mom can be a special one. I always thought before having kids that I would love having a girl, so we could be close like my mom and I. I was wrong. I love each unique relationship I have with each of my sons.
Before having children, I couldn’t envision myself as a mom. I felt very strongly about that, and told everybody around me, every chance I got. No kids for me! I told myself I wouldn’t be able to handle a pregnancy, let alone taking care of a child with my disability. I think it was a defense mechanism to keep me from feeling the deep sadness that “realistic” thought brought with it. It was a done deal in my mind.
However, Jamie really wanted to have children, and I knew that. Somewhere along the way, something changed, and I felt like it was something that maybe I could actually handle. Funny how that happens when it’s meant to be. He also has said so many times that God gave us strong boys so they could help me physically. Pick me up when I fall. And that they have done. It is a very humbling experience to have your child pick you up and carry you.
I won’t go into detail about the pregnancies and all that went with that. I’ve written a couple of previous blog posts detailing each of my pregnancies, and what that was like for me living with Muscular Dystrophy. If you would like to read more about that, please refer to the blog posts titled Becoming a Mom Living With Muscular Dystrophy, parts 1&2.
As my oldest son enters into his last semester of high school, and the college decisions are beginning to come in, I have found myself reflecting a lot on how in awe I am of this journey we have been on. My son chose to write his college essay detailing his life up to this point, with a very honest thought process of growing up with a mom who has a disability. It’s a really powerful piece. It stunned me when he came to me with it a few months ago. It’s raw, honest and beautiful. All I could do was cry, and just hug him and tell him how very proud I am of him. I hope one day he will share his essay, so that it may help others who may be in a similar situation.
Both of my boys are pillars of strength for me. They encourage, inspire and motivate me to keep going. I honestly don’t know what my life would look like had I not had my children. Physically, it was not an easy journey. There were many days I thought, how will I go on? Jamie would carry me to bed many nights after a long day with little ones when I couldn’t take another step. But I did. I kept going. I keep going. To be a good mom for them, I have to push myself each and everyday to do my best. I do what I am capable of doing, even if it is at a different pace, or looks a little differently.
 |
| My heroes |
In closing, I would like to share a piece of writing my youngest son brought home from school when he was 7 years old. It is titled People With Disabilities, in it he writes " People with disabilities sometimes can do really good things like my mom. My mom can catch and cook and lots more stuff! A lot more people can do that that also are disabled. A lot of people should be thankful for what you have. Some people should be thankful for being disabled."
The truth is, my boys always saw me as living humbly courageously, even when I didn't see it myself. I'm so grateful that God made it possible for me to be a mom to these two very special young men. They have taught me so much about self-acceptance, and I believe led me to be exactly as Jack says, "thankful for being disabled", for the life I was given. 💚
Comments
Post a Comment