Tenacity

Hello, welcome back. This blogging journey has been a fun one for me. When I wrote my first blog in January of 2019, I had been at church that morning. The sermon was about not putting things off that you desire to accomplish or do because you are afraid you won't succeed, or you are worried what others may think, or you just plain don't believe in yourself. So, on the way home I brought it up to Jamie that writing a blog was something I had been thinking about doing, and thought I might give it a try.  He encouraged me to do it, and so I just found this website and wrote my first blog that day. I wrote a couple after that, but then went about 9 months without writing another. Then, I came across someone who had started out as a blogger, and she mentioned that in the beginning when she first started her blog, she gave herself an imaginary deadline. She didn't really have one, but she created one for herself. That really resonated with me, so I did the same. I decided that every Friday late afternoon/early evening, I would post a weekly blog. It didn't really matter to anyone but me. I certainly don't have a huge audience. I think the highest number of readers that I ever had on a blog was 270. That's not even a blip on the radar in the world of blogging, but it means the world to me, so thank you for all who have read, or will continue to read my blogs. I appreciate you, and my hope is that the blog reaches the people who need to see it. 

Tenacity is the quality or fact of being very determined. People have often used this word to describe me, and I would say it rings true. I'm not sure that tenacity is a quality that I was consciously trying to embody, but rather a quality that I have had to have to survive. Without it, I would not be where I am today. Without it, I would not have finished school, gone to college, worked (starting in high school) for 19 years, married, had two children, kept up with all the household chores, made it through multiple surgeries, or truth be told, even be alive today. Without being tenacious, I would have given up because living with Muscular Dystrophy.... is grueling. 

This past weekend I climbed an extremely steep hill that I have now conquered 4 times! I don't know why I decided that this would be a challenge for me. I first discovered it when Jamie and I went for a hike on our anniversary in October of 2020. I enjoy going on hikes in the woods even though it is difficult for me. At the time, I was wearing my leg braces and had my walking sticks. Jamie asked me if I'd like to try climbing it to get to the trail we wanted to hike on. I told him I'd take a look at it. I remember thinking he was crazy when I first saw it. I think my initial response was no way! It seems that whenever I mutter those two words, something in me is sparked, and I end up taking the task on full force. I feel this determination to beat this thing that momentarily made me feel inadequate. Jamie is great about documenting these moments, which are awesome and motivating for me to look back on. That day I did conquer that big hill, and then hiked 1.5 miles after that! 

A few weeks after my first stem cell treatment I decided I wanted to try and do this hill sans braces or walking poles. It was a lofty, and maybe somewhat risky goal. However, I was determined. The path to the hill is quite a walk, so just getting there is challenging, and I'm already somewhat tired before I even begin. It's all a part of the challenge though. As we rounded the corner and I saw the hill again, I again thought no way! Well, you read what happens when I say that. Needless to say, I made it to the top with no assistance. There were a few heart stopping moments for me. This hill is very STEEP and is a rocky path. Hills, and ramps are hard for me because my ankles are both fused so they don't bend like most people's would. I also have something called foot drop on my right foot, which means the muscle on the front of my lower right leg doesn't work properly, so my foot when I walk doesn't flex up, it just drops. This makes uneven surfaces really hard, and tripping is a huge concern. It's what causes a majority of my falls. That's why I have the leg braces, but if you've ever worn AFOs or any type of brace that fits into your shoes you know how uncomfortable they are. I don't wear them as often as I should. 

I also live with a condition called osteoporosis which many of you probably know causes brittle bones. When I was 25, shortly after I was married, I was diagnosed with severe osteoporosis in my hips, and unfortunately it has continued to get worse despite my best efforts to stop it. This is due to a lifetime of my weak muscles not supporting my bones. I could choose to live in fear that my next fall could likely result in a broken hip, or I could live my life. I'm choosing to LIVE. I don't often participate in risky activities, like the big hill, but sometimes in life you've got to take chances, and trust that you can do hard things. Walking up that big hill takes a lot of tenacity, humble courage and just a drive to prove to myself that I am capable of doing hard things. I plan to do the big hill many more times. Living tenaciously brings about great satisfaction, and I think it is very motivating to others! All of my fellow MD warriors that I know, definitely live tenaciously and constantly motivate me.