Hello and welcome to another week at Humbly Courageous! Faith. I'm not sure what that means to you. To me it means a journey. A journey that has had it ups and downs. I have lived without God as the center of my life, and I've lived with Him as the center of my life. I grew up going to church with my mom and my sister. I never had a super deep connection, but I believed God was real, and He was important to me. As I got older though, to me God became a place to dump my anger surrounding my disability. I just didn't understand how I could, not only be disabled, but also why I had to deal with not having a diagnosis. I don't think I ever stopped believing in God, but I definitely stopped thinking that He was going to help me out of the black hole I was sliding more and more into with each passing year.
I would hear about people who where thankful in all circumstances. They thanked God for their struggles, and their trials in life. I usually pray throughout the day on and off when I feel like I need to pray for someone, but at night is more of a focused prayer time when I pray for the many who I know are struggling. I would try to make myself thank God for my disability, and the struggles it brings, but I just couldn't. I wasn't able to give up my need to understand why things were the way they were physically. It was a block that I couldn't get around. I felt guilty for not being more thankful, but I just wasn't. I was angry and frustrated.
There were a few things that happened on my faith journey that started to turn things around. I attended a weekend retreat that began my faith transformation. From there on out, I just continued to grow in my trust that God was going to take all the struggles, pain and adversity and turn them into something good. I started doing something at my church that is called miracle prayer time where you can go up after the service, and someone will pray with you for a miracle to occur in whatever area you would like to be prayed for. My husband and I would go up and we would ask for prayer that I could find a diagnosis for my muscle disease that I had been searching for my whole life. We did that for months. I got my miracle when I was 44 years old and had genetic testing done that lead to my Muscular Dystrophy diagnosis. My trust was building.
The next step that I think is what really turned things around was regular gratitude. I started simple. Consistently thanking God for my family, our health, our home, food. The things we tend to take for granted. The more I did that the more I felt pulled to thank God for my disability. Finally, I was able to do that. There was no longer a block. At first it felt a little strange, but the longer I did it the more authentic it became. I started asking Him to lead me where he wanted me to be. To help those who needed to be reached. To not hold back sharing what I felt called to share because of what someone may think or say about me. His plan for my life. My acceptance of my disability with gratitude affects more than just myself. It has a ripple effect that can reach far and wide. When you align yourself with God's plan for your life, doors that you've been pounding on for years just seem to open. You feel a true joy in your heart.
I know not everyone's beliefs align with mine, but I wanted to share what turned things around for me. I once was a prisoner to my disability. Mentally and physically. I now consider it as a “gift” that I can use to help others. Walking humbly courageous into my faith has been one of the hardest things I've ever done, but also the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I will close by sharing something I recently read in my daily devotional called Dear Jesus, by Sarah Young. It says "your patient endurance of suffering can strengthen and encourage my people on earth." Think about that. A lot of the people who inspire or encourage you are probably those who patiently endure something difficult. It gives hope. 💚
Proverbs 3:5
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