Vulnerability Brings Blessings

Hello and welcome back, or if you are new here, welcome! For those who have known me for most of my life this won't come as a surprise to you, but for those of you who I have only met recently through social media, you may be surprised that openly talking about and sharing my disability and all that comes with it, is fairly new to me. In fact, if you knew me growing up you may even be surprised that I am being so open. I used to be the exact opposite, and except for a select few people, I just didn't talk about my disability, or the struggles that it caused.

 

Part of that was because growing up, even though I was disabled, I didn't have a diagnosis. So, it was hard to talk about something when I didn't even know what I was talking about. A frequently asked question growing up was, "what is wrong with you?" That question immediately sent me into a panic. It was hard reliving the fact that I didn't know what was "wrong" every time someone would ask me. I felt so stupid when I would say "well, I don't really know." People would look at me like I had lost my mind, and some would even question me saying, "what do you mean you don't know?" That happened hundreds of times before I was diagnosed. I have also had many doctors say that to me! So, until I was officially diagnosed two years ago, I just didn't speak of my disability too much, and you certainly would not have caught me posting videos of myself walking, or awkwardly climbing stairs. 

It was like the script flipped when I was diagnosed. I had this nudging to share more of my story. As I got more involved with MDA, I felt more like I had a purpose to start sharing this great organization, and naturally my story was attached to that. In the short time I was able to serve as MDA's Indiana state ambassador before COVID, I would go where fundraisers were being presented to different partners of the MDA with the executive director.  He would introduce the fundraiser and goals, and then I did what was called the "mission moment". That's the part where I connected a personal story to MDA's mission. He and I would brainstorm ideas of ways we could help, and make connections. He suggested I could start doing some videos they could share in order to reach families and individuals living with MD. When he first brought up the idea of doing videos, I was pretty intimidated by it. I really couldn't see myself doing that! He encouraged me to do so, and as time went on, I stumbled my way through it. I guess you could say I have gotten more comfortable with it. 

Jiffy Lube Shamrocks presentation 

I'll never forget the first message I got from someone from a different country who had run across one of my videos. This is what it said "I just looked at your page. Thanks for letting so many available information on growing up with a physical disability. As a parent of a child with a physical disability, has given me one more good prospect to go ahead with HOPE. You are beautiful by the way. May your path ahead be always bright and full of joys". If  I was still questioning being vulnerable and sharing my story to help others, after reading that, I was no longer questioning why I was doing what I was doing. Through sharing my experience of living with a disability to help others, I had given ONE person HOPE! I get emotional when I think about the many after that who have sent very similar messages. They felt hopeless, and finding someone who has walked the same path gives them hope. I so needed that growing up, and I know my family did too.

Sometimes I don't feel worthy of some of the messages I receive. However, to me, it just solidifies that by walking humbly courageous, and opening myself up with a mission of reaching others who are feeling alone, I am on the path meant for me. There is purpose in the struggle. I have been blessed by being vulnerable. 💚

Another presentation with one of MDA's partners, Jiffy Lube
connecting the story with the mission