Humbly Courageous

Hello and welcome back to another week at Humbly Courageous! Growing up, I had to tell my medical journey story over and over and over. I dreaded going to all of the doctor’s appointments and telling a new person my story and hoping for answers. I would tell my mom, “I can’t do this today, I don’t want to do this anymore.” Some doctors would blankly stare at me, some would show compassion and thank me for sharing. So, if you would have asked me then if I’d like to be an advocate and share my story over and over in order to help others, I would have said, “no thank you.” It was traumatic at the time because it was always a dead end. Each time I was told, “I’m sorry I just don’t know what this is”, my heart was shattered, and I had to start all over again each time for 44 LONG years. .  Now, nearly 4 years after being diagnosed, I am finally off of that diagnostic roller coaster.  My thoughts have obviously changed. Now, I’m eager to share my story, over and over in order to hel...

Hello, welcome to another week at Humbly Courageous. We’ve officially entered my favorite season, fall. I love everything about it. I don’t even care that it basically rolls out the red carpet for winter to arrive because it’s just too beautiful to deny! If I could bottle up the warm feeling I get from fall and dab it on when I’m feeling down, that would be fantastic! As a disabled person, I often hear, wow you did that in spite of your disability! You went snow and water skiing, despite your disability! You went to college, despite your disability! You had two kids, despite your disability! You’ve completed two marathons and are training for a third, despite your disability! While all of those things are true I suppose, I also like to think of those things as because of my disability. Seems more purposeful to me when I think of it that way.  I feel like my disability drives me in a way that maybe I wouldn’t be if I weren’t disabled. It challenges me on a daily basis, pushes me to...

Hello and welcome back! If it’s your first time here, I hope you may learn something new about disabilities, or maybe even gain a new perspective of your own through hearing mine as a person who has lived life with a disability. Thanks for being here! Many of my earliest memories are that of being at a doctor’s office, or recovering from surgery at a hospital. If you are someone who has spent time seeing doctor after doctor, year after year, you know the familiar feeling of feeling like you are just a number. Just someone else for them to check off their list for the day was how it often felt. Too rushed with their own agenda to have time to really listen to mine. Those experiences didn't exactly leave me feeling dignified, or promote feelings of self-worth. Neither did being referred to as unidentified for 44 years of my life. I did have a few heaven sent doctors over the years. The doctors who actually encouraged me to realize, I did in fact, have a place for self-worth in my l...

Hello and welcome back, if you are new I’m glad you joined us! The deterioration of my muscles  didn’t happen the way I imagined it at all. In my mind it was much quicker, more of an overnight thing. In my mind I’d go to sleep, and the next day I’d wake up unable to walk anymore. To me, it wasn’t a question of IF, but rather WHEN. Doctor’s were always saying all kinds of things that MAY  happen to me. No one knew exactly, because I wasn’t yet diagnosed. It was confusing and scary for me. Maybe that’s why I was never a good sleeper. Going to bed each night with something like that on your mind doesn’t exactly promote restful sleep. I never really told anyone about those thoughts. I can remember thinking that from a very young age. Kindergarten maybe?  I’m grateful that it hasn’t happened that way, at least not yet anyway. It’s more of a slow burn, watching something slowly go that you so desperately don’t want to part with. First, it was the cane that I needed. I remember ...

Hello and welcome to another week at Humbly Courageous! Hope you’ve had something that made you smile this week. My smiles this week came from a picture my son Jack drew in art class and knowing my college boy is coming home this weekend for a visit 😊  I have a confession to make. I have an addiction, and it’s just keeps getting stronger. I’m addicted to….my routine. Sorry, maybe that was a disappointing build up, but it’s true! My addiction to routine really started growing when I had my boys. I guess you could say I’ve never been a super spontaneous person. I like to feel in control too much for that! Before having my first child I was, of course, reading all the books on what to do and how to do it, which if you have a child you know 99% of that goes out the window when they are born, and you end up just doing what works for you. Still, I wanted to feel prepared, and I read over and over that having a routine for your child makes them feel safe and is a good thing for them, whi...

Hello and welcome back! Hope this week has been a productive one. I have had a lot of new readers reach out recently, which is very exciting! Humbly Courageous is growing and that makes me smile! I appreciate the kind comments I’ve received, and a few “you’re a good writer”comments, which is not something I ever planned on hearing in my life. This little space has sure brought me more joy than you could imagine. So, thank you! Growing up, my mom was a fantastic cook. She learned from her mom, and our family has a lot of really awesome recipes that have been passed down many generations. I can’t think of any “secret” recipes we have, but by far our family’s most famous are probably angel biscuits and our Thanksgiving fried dressing recipe. My mom would have my sister and I help some in the kitchen when we were younger, or we would watch her cook. I learned a lot just by watching her.  I got more interested in cooking when Jamie and I moved to Memphis. I liked it because it was somet...

Hello and welcome back, if it’s your first time here I’m glad you are here! This past week was a doozy. Dropping your kid off for college is no joke! The days leading up to it are emotional, and then when you say that last goodbye and walk away, oh man. I’m pretty sure I made some kind of painful sound I’ve never made before as I hugged Luke goodbye, my tears freely flowing. I had hoped to hold it together until I reached the car because it was also a happy and exciting time, but nope! The night before he left, he wanted to sit outside with us and have a fire in our fire pit out back. As we were sitting there enjoying the night, Jamie said “have you ever looked at the house at night from this vantage point?” To which I responded, “yes, but not very often.” After that, I couldn’t get it out of my mind that things can look so different depending on how you view them. I’ll be the first to admit that I spent most of my life viewing my disability stuck at the same vantage point. Feet firmly...